This chapter spoke much louder than last week's chapter on monsters, although for me they are much the same thing. My monsters are the crazymakers who demand my attention, always vying to distract me from joyful pursuits. They are unhappy when my pleasure comes from sources other than themselves. Like Rian and Debra, I am finally comfortable with distancing myself emotionally from the diehards I cannot distance myself from physically. The distancing costs, but it is bargain-basement compared to the price of engagement.
I will agree with Julia Cameron that we must take responsibility (better word than blame, don't you think?) for gravitating to these people. But some of them we have no choice but to contend with, and I have negotiated my pay-off for tolerating or ignoring the crazy stuff. It is a deal I can live with and there is power in knowing they know I'm on to them, that I am beyond being much affected by such behavior. Some (the crazymakers especially) call me tough, but what growth that is for the shy, sensitive, good little girl I used to be! So, crazymakers, take a number, get in line. I know your type and you are warned: most days you've met your match.
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Isn't maturity wonderful--you can meet life on your own terms and don't have to get caught up in the crap (unless you want to). And if someone tries to lay a trip on you, you can see it coming and turn a deaf ear to it. Yeah. It's a real comfortable place to be.
I'm for maturity--at any age! It's aging I worry about. My 80-year-old (sometimes crazymaker) mother was ranting the other day about what Baby Sister "should" tell her overbearing in-laws (all of it ridiculously inflammatory). She justified the hostility by saying, "I've just reached the age where I tell people what I think, and I don't care what THEY think"--you get the picture. I finally said, "That's right! You've reached that age and it's EIGHTY! She's only 41 so she's NOT at that point yet!" Remember "to everything there is a season"? I enjoy being above the fray at this stage of life. But I hope I don't care sooo little what others think that I just ride rough-shod over them, the way some near-and-dear ones do around me. Big difference between not taking any guff off people and plain lookin' for a fight! Your key words are "turn a deaf ear to it." Why keep challenging people when you're 80 years old?! Why keep challenging them when you're 57? Just turn that deaf ear and walk away.
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