Twenty Things About Me:

This was a tough task! First the obvious:

Birth
1. I will be 58 years old on December 8. [Note to Deb: everyone thinks my birthday is Pearl Harbor Day!]

If I define myself by titles, I am:

A Daughter
2. My mother was an only child who gave birth to 4 daughters, who gave birth to 4 granddaughters, who have so far produced 1 great-granddaughter. There hasn't been a male born into my mother's family for 95 years. (The only way men get into our family is by marriage, and we don't always let 'em stay.)

A Child
3. I loved growing up in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, a town with the dubious distinction of being created in WW II to build the atom bomb. My friends were the kids of PhD's from all over the world. The Army provided every cultural advantage to keep the intelligentsia amused and willing to stay in small-town East Tennessee. The beauty of the area persuaded the Yankee transplants to stay on after the war. Housing was Government-issued, so success in Oak Ridge meant trips to Europe, Ivy League schools for you and/or your children, initials following your name, and driving the same car for decades—a kind of intellectual snobbery. It was a town where a girl played for hours on end in "the woods," walked to schools staffed by PhD's, and actually wanted to be a Girl Scout for seven years.

A Sister
4. I am the eldest of the four girls. The baby is 17 years younger, and she and I are the closest of the four. I think birth order is significant in personality development, and can spot a fellow first-born at 50 paces.

A Wife, Part I
5. I married my high school sweetheart so young I could neither vote nor jointly own the brand new 1967 Beetle we bought that summer. (We paid $700 down so we could finance the remaining $1200 over his 3 years of law school, making payments of $33.33 per month, which we could just manage on my secretarial income.) He was a nice guy, but it was the Vietnam era and the 3 years turned into 5 with much, much stress. When he graduated we settled into the life we thought we wanted. We had two children and I finished my education in interior design. One day I realized what I'd wanted at 19 was no longer what I wanted at 32, and so we divorced. I don't regret giving up, but I regret that he did.

A Mother
6. I gave birth to both of my daughters by the Lamaze method—no drugs and much training in mind over matter—and no audience! Labor and delivery sure have changed.

7. Awaiting the birth of my first daughter, I anticipated a period of adjustment to warm up to this new person (we didn't know what we were having back in 1973) and my new role of mother. Instead, I had an instantaneous and stunning bond to her the moment I saw her. Awaiting the second daughter, I wondered how it worked, this dividing love between two kids. The moment I saw her I learned you don't "divide" love; it grows exponentially.

A Divorcee
8. At first I loved being independent for the first time in my life. I had an intense romance that nearly killed me when it ended, then a handful of awful dates, then five years with NO date. (No one believes me when I tell them this, but it's true.) After 7 single years, I wanted someone to look forward to my arrival home at night, and I concluded Prince Charming was not going to find me.

A Wife, Part II
9. Immediately, as I accepted that it was up to me to find HIM, Husband II walked into my life. His youngest child was my older child's school friend, and his 47-year-old wife had died very quickly a few months before. Unknown to me, when taking my daughter home from visits with his daughter, he'd been escorting her to the door, hoping to see a picture of me. We fell head-over-heels and married 14 months later.

10. Husband II is 10 years my senior. Coming of age in the 50's and coming of age in the 60's represents a LOT more than 10 years. He was Ward Cleaver and I was Mary Tyler Moore. After 18 years, it's still a work in progress. I am a dedicated Glass-is-Half-Full personality and he is a decided Glass-is-Half-Empty personality.

11. Despite his gloomy outlook, I married him because he could jump in the air and click his heels together. Who could resist?

A Great Cook and Housekeeper
12. These accomplishments are strictly past-tense. I used to be a great cook, but it's a use-it-or-lose-it talent. Now that I don't rustle grub any more, I seem to have lost the knack. But I still have a discriminating pallet. As for housekeeping—there's just no future in it so I avert my eyes a lot.

A Working Girl
13. I enjoyed 20 years as a professional interior designer. Loved the creativity and was pleased when clients appreciated my work on their behalf. It was a real kick if, along the way, I elevated their tastes and they learned a few design principles. Eventually, I tired of having my success depend so much on others (paperhangers, carpet layers, drapery workrooms, etc.)—that lack of control—and I wearied of worrying about jobs at all hours. I left the creative-brain world for the logic-brain world of the law. I don't particularly enjoy my work, but it's what I've known all my life. It's a tidy 9-to-5 job, 4 days a week, so I take the money and run. A high-profile mom & pop firm in Music City Nashville does have its interesting moments.

A Grandmother
14. I was the most lukewarm prospective grandmother anyone ever saw. (Looks like I'd learn.) When our Christmas Angel (due December 23) decided to be our Thanksgiving Turkey (arrived November 22), my world tilted 90 degrees and I haven't been the same since. I am every annoying bumper sticker ever seen.

A Sewer
15. I squalled my way through 7th grade home ec, finally letting my grandmother finish the despised dress I had to make. Never wanted to see a sewing machine again. Strangely, when I was about 22 I sat up in bed one morning and said, "I think I'll learn to sew!" I went straight to the local Singer store, bought their cheapest new zigzag machine, a $1.00 Simplicity Sewing Book, a pattern and some polyester, and taught myself to sew. I regret not sewing for my daughters, and when I learned my grandchild was a little girl I heard a voice in my ear: "You get a second chance." I enrolled in a smocking class, then a children's clothing Sit & Sew, and then fell into quilting, all within the last 3 years. I am hopelessly addicted.

A Friend
16. I stay in touch with my 6th grade girlfriends, and all my other friends have been with me for many years. I am constant, reliable, and each would say I am funny, a good mimic, and spirited (odd, since I was so shy as a child). A wonderful mother-in-law I once had used to say I don't suffer fools gladly. (I don't have much patience for silly people.) I'm accused of being too honest, but I'm praised as a good judge of people.

A Genealogist
17. I am the 7th generation of my mother's family to be born in the same historic county of East Tennessee, and have traced an interesting ancestor to Glasgow, Scotland, prior to his arrival in the Colonies in 1747. I have learned more Tennessee and American history through this 20-year pursuit than I ever learned in school, and I have immense respect for the bonds of family.

A Collector:
18. I have a large collection of red and white Staffordshire china, most of it antique. Many pieces are valuable; many were bought for a few dollars. ALL were bought with love. My kitchen is red and white, and I display many pieces on a wall there. I also enjoy antique hunting.

An Adventurer
19. I am a homebody but I also love to venture far afield. I'm fortunate my husband is equally interested in travel and able to afford it. He's fortunate I plan interesting, independent travel experiences that sometimes include taking a risk. (Would he get into a car with Parisians we met at a restaurant—the husband practiced English on me; I practiced French on him—who offered a personal driving tour of their city at night? No way! But I had him agree to it before he fully understood what he was smiling and nodding about. It is one of our favorite travel memories. Thank you, Pierre and Monique!) I debate who I love most—the English, the French, or the Scottish.

A Southerner
20. I adore the terrain, the climate, the accents, the charm, and the customs of my Southland.